JL is the funniest person on the planet. He is like Henny Youngman. He starts with one joke or comment that is so funny that you get hysterical, then he tortures you by just pounding more and more until you are gasping for breath. JL and I became instant friends the first day we met. I had become weary of the shenanigans of the company I worked for.
I had a reputation for being a tremendous closer and having great personal relationships in our business so I was a hot commodity (ONLY BECAUSE OF JESUS). I had the hearts of a lot of Publishers. So when I called and asked JL for a meeting he was all about it. Five minutes into the interview he offered me a great job. The next two hours, we talked about airplanes and laughed hard. Jl is an amazing overachiever. He is a big time pilot with all kinds of ratings,he is a Vietnam combat veteran, he is a world class boxer, a runner, an amazing baseball player and he was a tremendous seller, but what he really is, is a comic! He should have been a stand up comedian.
So the best is yet to come. Now as a team we were awesome. We were racking up client newspapers for our rep firm one after the other around the Southeast. We were making lots of money for the company. So they pretty much left us alone. I had set up a meeting with a paper in Alabama that was part of the New York Times regional newspaper group.
JL and I wanted to fly over but the weather was to bad so we drove, and that was very good, because as you will learn, we would have been killed. We walked into the meeting and the co-owner of the paper was there along with the publisher. This guy was a hoot and looked to be about 80 years old. The man sounded just like Foghorn Leghorn, he had the deepest drawl I have ever heard. Jl and I sold him and closed him and inked the contract quickly.
JL wanted to do a little suck up work so he looked at a picture on the table and presumed it was the man’s family. He was right, and they were the most hideous looking group I have ever personally seen, but that didn’t stop JL. I knew he was going to say it just to get my goat and I held my breath. I knew if he said it I would collapse. But out It came,”My what a lovely family.” I almost blew my teeth out trying frantically not to burst out in a loud belly laugh over the most disingenuous comment of all time! The dadgummed sadist was at it again.
The owner said, “yep I’m real proud of all of um!” He continued, “Now you boys may no my son Bobby, he is the President of Acme Ad Agency and they are the biggest agency in North Carolina. Then Mr. Leghorn drawled out these words. Bobby is a GENIUS.” I knew that JL was going to try to kill me, so I turned my head to look at someone else so that he couldn’t give me that SEG and make me lose it. Here it came. “Yes Mr. Leghorn, we both know of your son, and you should be very proud of him!”
Now the truth was that I knew of the dude from earlier dealings but JL had never seen him or heard of the Acme Ad Agency.
What happened next will go down in the annals of time as the most stupendously funny moments of all time. Mr. Leghorn belted out the following:
“You know he only has one arm.” JL “I am so sorry to hear that.” Mr. Leghorn “Well Suh, he was a pileeht. he was flyin home from his vacation and stopped in Mungummery to get gas, He was about to bowhud the plane and he stuck his ahhmmm in the pro-pellah.”
I heard it but I was still fighting my mind and staring away from JL.
We quickly thanked Mr. Leghorn and booked it out of there because it was getting late and dark. We got in the car and we were both silent for a moment. Then he did it!!!!! Jl looked at me and asked, Did you hear what I heard? Did Mr. Leghorn just tell us that his genius son stuck his arm in a propeller?
The rest is history! In less than half of a second we were both hysterical!!! It hurt! I think I hyper-ventilated, my right side was racked with pain, I was crying uncontrollably, to the point that I could not see. No matter how hard I tried, I could not catch my breath! JL was in the same shape and we couldn’t pull over, it was 5 miles to the nearest exit. I was trapped in the car with a sadistic comic who just would not stop! He repeated the words over and over. I felt like I had been run over by an army tank. Finally, ever so slowly, I began to breathe normally, the cramps had begun to subside, and then it happened!
The car in front of us hit a deer and the hooves came spiraling right at us from under that car and missed, In the same instant, The deers head went flying over the top of the car!!!!!!! That was all she wrote!!! When I got home my right side was in agonizing pain. The next day I went to the Doc and he said I had injured my diaphragm! I told him I didn’t wear one.
Now get this!! Understand clearly that Jesus invented laughter! It is His will that our JOY MAY BE FULL! Rest assured that when you laugh He laughs harder. And the harder you laugh the harder he laughs. You are the child that Jesus cherishes He wants you to be happy, giddy and full of joy ALL OF THE TIME! Some of you may picture our Daddy God as a duplicate of the statue of Abraham Lincoln in his memorial!. Wrong Wrong Wrong! Our Father is happy and alive!!! He follows you around all day hoping that you will be so overcome with joy that you laugh yourself silly! When you are joyous it means that you believe Jesus! And if you really do, there is never a reason to not be happy.
We had a board of directors of Throne of Grace meeting, Tuesday morning and we spent the first 20 minutes laughing, And the reason is that the Holy Spirit permeates our meeting and you just can’t resist being funny and laughing and Jesus loves it
Check out these scriptures:
“Until now you have asked nothing, ask and you WILL RECEIVE THAT YOUR JOY MAY BE FULL” (The words in red are from our King Jesus)
I can’t count the times that people have said to me, “Pastor Allen, I just don’t know God’s will for me.” Here is the answer, believe on the one He hath sent; and that YOUR JOY MAY BE FULL!
It is very important to break that statement up and eat it all! note the order of his commands: ASK…….THAT YOU MAY RECEIVE……THAT YOUR JOY MAY BE FULL/COMPLETE! Did you notice that Jesus did not qualify this statement with any of the non-sense we are taught like, “You can block your blessings, Yes but you must pray in His will, He only meant that for the disciples, God will not bless a mess…Yada,Yada, Yada! Understand that the reason Jesus’ answer is always yes and amen, when we ask, is so that our joy may be complete.
The next time some bafoon tells you that Jesus’ promises were only for the disciples, read this quotation from God in the flesh!
“If you continue in My Word, then you are indeed my disciple and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free!”
(John 8:31 and 32) The church world is full of Debbie Downers, and nattering, nabobs of negativity. God NEVER speaks negatively!!!
Their goal is to steal your joy and question Jesus’ words. Their Mantra is the same one old scratch has been using since Adam and Eve (Because they listen to him and are unwittingly in his service) imagine a hissing nasty, rotten old snake saying this “Surely He did not say”! All of these poor diluted folk are questioning whether Jesus meant what He said. AVOID THEM LIKE THE SIKA VIRUS!!!!!!!!!!
Read what our Father spoke to the children of Israel through the prophet Nehemiah: “Go eat of the fat, drink of the sweet and send rations to him who has nothing prepared. For this day (this present moment, today) is holy to the Lord. DO NOT BE GRIEVED! For the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Understand this, The Joy of the Lord is YOUR strength… When you are strong it brings God Joy!!! Your joy is His strength! Your Joy makes Him happy!
“A Merry Heart Doeth Good Like A Medicine” (Proverbs 17:22) A merry heart will destroy all illness and illegal invaders in your body! When you have a merry heart, you constantly bless others and they are attracted to you, they want to be around you and help you, because they want what you have.
The Rastafarian knew more about Jesus than most Christians, he nailed down the Gospel of Jesus and His will for you with these simple words…”Don’t Worry, Be happy!” I would only add, and LAUGH. HARD!
I pray that this teaching has blessed you and made you laugh. If so, would you please pass it to another who will be blessed?
Throne of Grace Ministry is an independent 501c3 Ministry. We are not affiliated with any church, group,denomination. or organization. We are solely funded by the generosity of our Donor Partners.
We minister the un-compromised Gospel of Jesus in Hospitals, Nursing Homes, Recovery Centers, Businesses, Restaurants, Churches, Bible Study Groups, and by Social Media to whomever the Holy Spirit leads us.
Our primary ministry is Pastoring and Coaching business and community leaders so that they may lead others by their example. We minister to thousands of people here in America and in more than 100 countries around the world through our website: KNOWJESUSKNOWGRACE.COM. We have manufactured and presented more than 300 prayer blanket to very ill and needy folk.
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Thank You,
Pastor Allen Fleming
Throne of Grace
P.O.BOX 669153
Marietta, Georgia 30066
