“MULE-OLOGY”
My early youth was spent in the red clay hills of Georgia, as were my college and adult years. Southern folk have lots of funny stories and often true sayings. An example: “What goes around comes around.”
One I always laugh at is the core of Mule-Ology. “You ride the mule until he can’t ride no more, then you plow him until his back breaks, then you shoot him and eat him.”
The poor old mule gets little reward for his life of drudgery. He gets little recognition and less love. He eats the same food every day, does the same thing every day, and has no way out. He is not appreciated; he is obligated.
Mule-Ology is the belief that many married men have that their women see them as mules. It happens when a young man gets married and loves the romance and all that comes with it. Then he wakes up one morning to realize that he is in a lifelong commitment with the accompanying financial obligations, children to feed, and a mortgage. “Hey, I’m that mule! I have the harness and the drudgery to prove it!”
It is very easy to say those vows, but fulfilling them takes a lifetime of hard work, commitment, and love.
This reality sometimes comes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it becomes truth to every married man.
WHAT MEN WANT
The mule-man wants to be loved, nurtured, respected, appreciated, acknowledged and rewarded. He wants to know that the folks that he wears the harness and plow for are grateful for his commitment. Many men who grew up in unloving, dysfunctional, or abusive households want all of these things in abundance. When they are not received, mule-man can drop into a state of sadness, despair, anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
Some mule-men, overwhelmed with their obligations and in despair, shuck the harness and plow and leave the farm, leaving a wake of destruction behind them, including fatherless children, financial ruin, and a single Mom.
Some mule-men turn to various endorphin feeders, like affairs, alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc, to fill their needs and fill the hole in their souls.
A BIG SURPRISE GUY’S
YOUR WIFE WANTS THE SAME THINGS.
Mule-men are so focused on their own needs that even though they genuinely love their wives, they are unaware their wives need the same love, recognition, gratitude, appreciation, respect, rewards, and security that mule-men do.
This is especially true in today’s overworked and over-taxed society, where women wear the same harness and plow as men. So the question for Mule-men is, are you giving your wives what you want, or are you feeding her feelings of being Mule-woman? You know, Jesus’s “Golden Rule”?
“So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you!”
(Matthew 7:12)
THE SOLUTION FOR MULE-OLOGY:
So, we have learned that men and women have the same need for love, respect, recognition, appreciation, gratitude, and rewards. The problem is that most are searching for these things in amounts that can not be delivered to them by their spouse, children, or anyone else.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
What we all are searching for is unconditional love. Society has taught us to look for our need fulfillment in others, government, entertainment, sex-drugs-and, rock and roll, sports, consuming goods, materialism, fitness, food, and financial and professional success. But none of them can adequately fill the depth of our needs.
You see, God has intentionally created a hole in our souls that only He can fill. Only Jesus can and does love us unconditionally. Jesus has proven this in that He died for us while we were still sinners. No greater love has a Man than to give His life for those He loves.
(John 3:16-18, John 15:3)
In more than thirty-eight years of sobriety, I have observed countless lives that have been changed by folks who switched from trying to fill that hole in their souls with alcohol and drugs to filling it with God’s love for them.
The A.A. program was designed to gently lead its members to the knowledge of God and His love, and it has saved millions of people and their families from the brink of destruction.
Pastoring folks for almost that long has shown me the same changes in those who stop trying to fill the hole with other things and fill it with God’s love. The transformations are amazing. Often, I have seen the most depressed, sad sacks that were so negative that no one could stand to be with them, become truly happy, joyous, loving, and fun people to be around.
Only Jesus can fill our need for unconditional love, respect, appreciation, gratitude, and rewards. He gives us all of these. Women want communication with their men. Only Jesus can and does fill this need. He hears you and calls you by your name. Jesus is on the air twenty-four hours daily, speaking to us, and listening to and caring for us. Talk to Him instead of a spouse who is too tired, distracted, or self-absorbed to listen.
(John 10)
Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, (Jesus and His Words) and all the things that Mule-Folk need will be added unto you!
(Matthew 6:35)
Jesus can and has removed your harness and plow Mule-folks.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28-30)
Unconditional love, the love we seek, is paying for the sins of others with the most painful and humiliating death any human ever has or ever will.
(John 3:16-18)
Unconditional love is having no record of wrongs, no scorecard, forgiving every sin ever committed, past, present, or future, and choosing to be unable to remember them so that the one you love (you, fill in your name here) can become yours for all eternity.
( 1 Corinthians 13:1, Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 103:1-3 and 12, Isaiah 53:4-5, John 1:29, John 3:16-18, Hebrews 8:12, Hebrews 10:10-18, Revelations 1:9)
Unconditional love is calling those who sin against you and betray you your “glorious inheritance.”
(Ephesians 1:18)
Unconditional love only requires believing in you to receive everything yours and eternal life in Heaven with you.
(John 6:28-29)
Unconditional love has given all who believe in you “ALL THINGS THAT PERTAIN TO LIFE AND GODLINESS” and all of your “GREAT AND PRECIOUS PROMISES” and YOUR FAITH.
(2 Peter 1:1-4)
Unconditional love is healing and taking away every disease, known and unknown.
(Psalm 103:1-3, Isaiah 53:4-5, Matthew 8:16-17, 1Peter2:24)
Unconditional love is giving those who believe in You the ability and power to do the same things You did on earth and even greater than these.
(John 14:12)
Unconditional love gives those who believe in you the ability and power to speak things in and out of existence.
(Mark 11:22-24)
Unconditional love gives those who believe in you dominion over the evil one, his minions, and all of his powers.
(Luke 10:18)
Unconditional love gives those who believe and believe in you the ability to gain wealth.
(John 10:10, Luke 6:38, 2Corinthians 9:6-15)
So, you can be a frustrated mule or a blessed, loved, appreciated, recognized, secure, rewarded, happy Jesus lover. You choose. All that Jesus asks is that you Believe.
End of teaching
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